Are You a Mean Mommy?

This past Sunday I was accused of being a mean mommy…

Our pastor was expositing the book of Titus on Sunday night. Specifically, Titus 2:4, “That [the older women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.” Our 6-year old son turned to me and said, “You need to learn that.” I said, “Learn what?” He said, “How to love your children.” In utter shock and disbelief, I asked him why he didn’t believe I loved him. He said, “Because, you’re a mean mommy to me and Mercy.” When we got home I asked our son to please define his terms of what he thought a mean mommy was. He said, “You’re mean because, you make me clean my room, you discipline me, and you tell me no when I want a snack.”

Both, elated and saddened at his false perception of love.

I explained to him, “I must teach you responsibility in order to bring you up to maturity. I can’t allow you to be lazy and not clean up after yourself. That is why you must clean your room” (Prov. 6:6).

I informed him of the biblical necessity of godly discipline and how not disciplining is actually a form of hatred. I stated, “Therefore, I must discipline you if I truly love you and believe God’s Word (Proverbs 25:17, Hebrews 12:5-11).

Lastly, I advised him that when I tell him no for snacks, I am teaching him self-control (Proverbs 25:8). He must learn self-control and how to say no to himself and accept no from others.

I explained to him what loving your children really means and my role and responsibility as a godly mother.

This teaching moment was a sobering reminder of how easily our children can become victims of the world and its ideologies instead of victors of the Word of God.

The world says you’re a bad, unloving parent if you tell your child(ren) no, enforce rules and responsibilities, and dare to discipline.

God’s Word says we must teach our children self-control, responsibility, and wisdom. Without it, our children will grow up and be out of control, irresponsible, and foolish.

Hmmm . . . looks a lot like what we see all around us in our culture today. As Christians, let us be counter-cultural and raise our children according to God’s Word and shine light on a dark and dying world.  

Let us be more concerned about pleasing God over our children or the world. Your children may still be too young or immature to truly understand your wisdom in raising them to become godly offspring. One thing I can most certainly attest to is that one day our children will rise up and call us blessed (Proverbs 31:28). I have been a blessed recipient of this blessing from both of my two older children. The key is that we only need to be faithful and trust God and His instructions no matter how it feels or what it looks like in the moment.

“While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” - 2 Corinthians 4:18

What about you? Are you a “mean mommy” or were you raised by one?

For His Glory!